Tuesday, February 12, 2013

No Regrets

Today I find myself picking up the pieces of my life again.  And although I'm shattered, I find the fact that I'm getting really good at it even more disturbing than the pain itself. 

It's a lot of pieces, but you can put them back togther...
And, besides, I've always liked puzzles...
Yes, even in sobriety, I have to continually pick up pieces of my shattered life...  Sorry, folks.  It gets better... But it doesn't get perfect.  But I digress...

Every time I pick up the pieces, I find that I'm able to keep my feet moving forward just a little bit easier.  To wake up the next morning and keep putting one foot in front of the other.  (Granted, having three small children needing you is motivating, but that doesn't stop a lot of moms from giving in to the depression.)

Want to know my secret?

It's pretty simple really....

I live my life with no regrets.

Some people say that you should learn to hold back a part of yourself.  To protect a part of your heart. 

But I'm a black and white kind of girl. 

If I'm in, I'm in.  I give 100%.  I give it all that I have.  Every single time.  Even though it means that I will be devastated when it ends.  I am a balls to the wall, full out, no guts, no glory kind of girl.

But you know what else it means? 

It means that I get to say, "I gave it everything that I have.  I could not have done more."  I don't have to regret a single second.  I don't have to regret that I didn't try harder, love more, give more.... Ever.

And I don't. 

And I believe with all my heart that there will come a day where I won't have to pick up the pieces.  Where taking that risk will bring me the reward that I want.

So, I'll keep taking that risk...living my life at 100%.  Pain or no.  But, for today, I'll keep taking deep breaths, keeping the hurt at bay, putting one foot in front of the other...

No regrets.

Just Keep Coming Back

1 comment:

  1. I am happy with your decision to give all you got and that you live with no regrets. That is the way to be. Life is very unpredictable. With that said, at least you know you gave it your all and that to me is a very liberating feeling and you will not live with guilt of taking advantage of others. God bless.

    ReplyDelete

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