Overnight success

I know that there are stories about people being "overnight successes".  And I guess it could happen. 

But most of the time, it doesn't.

It can't.

Trust me.  It's a longer road than it looks...

It takes hours and weeks and months and sometimes years to have something become an overnight success.

You know, it's what you've always heard.  If it were easy, everyone would do it. 

It's true. 

Similarly, you don't get sober all at once.  You don't get to wake up one day and decide, "Oh, I'm gonna quit now" and have everything go back to normal the next day.

It takes time.

Time for the booze to leave your system, of course.  But that's the easy part.

No.  Really.  It is....

So what is a higher power anyway?

So, I got this comment today on another post that I had written and it reminded me of something I wanted to talk about. 

Man, I love when that happens.  Because I know that it doesn't look that hard to write an almost daily blog, but coming up with topics (especially when I'm closing in on my 300th post) is really hard.

But I digress.

I wrote a post titled "Do You Have to Beliieve in God to Get Sober" back in October of last year.  I talked about the fact that, although the steps in AA do talk about God, that I know you don't have to believe in God to get or stay sober.

Now, you don't have to believe in "God", but you do have to be willing to believe in something.  You do have to be able to believe that you are not the most powerful force in the universe.  Which, unless you have a SERIOUSLY inflated ego, shouldn't be a problem.

Having Faith Again

I've talked about faith a couple of times on the blog.

And here's the thing....

Hey, I don't have one of these (at least not one that works)
so I just have to keep having faith.

I DO have faith.  In things that I know to be true.  Even the ones I can't see. 

I have faith that the sun will always rise in the East and set in the West.  I have faith that the world will keep turning. 

I have faith in the love of my children and my love for them. 

And I have faith that things work out eventually.

So, maybe that's not your definition of faith. 

But to me it is, so go with me.

Putting your faith in people is hard.  People are fallible.  People are weak.  People don't always act the way that you think that they will.

And sometimes they disappoint you.

And if you've put your faith in someone for a long time and they were not deserving of your faith in the first place, you end up getting hurt.

And it's that much harder to ever put your faith in someone again. 

I have. 

And most of the time I think I'm over it.  The irreparable damage that it's done to my psyche. 

But I still falter from time to time. 

I need reassurance.  Reassurance that the person in whom I'm putting my faith and trust is not going to hurt me.

And that's weak of me.  But I'm a person too. 

And, as they say, "Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me." 

What can I say?  I've been disappointed before.... Just like everyone else.

But you never get anywhere if you can't hold on to that little piece of you that's still willing to try.  To give it a chance.  To trust. 

If you can't do it, you live your life in a haze.  You don't have the crushing rejection and hurt.  But you never get to have the ecstasy either.  And both exist.  I have to believe that they do. 

I have faith that they do. 

And so, I try.

Do you?  Do you REALLY try? 

I do.  With all my heart.  Because I have faith in someday....

Just Keep Coming Back.

Understanding

In the program, there's a lot of talk about acceptance. 

Acceptance of the truth.  Acceptance of yourself.  Acceptance of responsibility for what you've done.

But if you ask me, which you did since you're here, I think that the most important thing to accept is that you are not like other people.  And they are not like you.

Expecting other people to act the way that you want them to will only lead to disappointment.  Expecting them to understand who and what you are.  Expecting them to understand how your mind works is almost impossible.

And even I get caught in it sometimes. 

Help, help and more help

Ok, so if you've read this blog for awhile, you already know that I struggle with asking for help.  I want to do everything on my own and I believe that I can.

But that's started to change. 

I hired a business coach.  And she's drilled into my head that I need help. 

I can't do it all on my own. 

And that was when the hiring began.

Where I ran my law business with just me, I've now got a marketing person, a social media person, a business coach and a part-time babysitter.  I'm also hiring a housekeeper (because if I'm gonna be paying people to do stuff for me, my days of scrubbing behind the toilets after my two little boys is over). 

Whew!

I'm spending money in a fashion that I never have before.  On paying these people.  On advertising.  On things that I need to do my business properly. 

It's terrifying. 

What if I don't make enough money?

What if I crash and burn?

These people are all now depending on me to pay them. 

I'm trying not to think about it. 

I'm taking a deep breath and trying to have faith in a place that I never have gone before. 

Faith in myself. 

That I CAN do it.

Just Keep Coming Back

A new addiction

My name is Deena, and I'm a metrics whore....  [your line is, "Hi Deena!"]

My new business, Just1Group, just had it's first large advertisement hit this morning.  I'm very excited and watching the metrics like the metrics whore that I am....

And, if watching the numbers wasn't enough, there's now a new thingie which is real time...

Oh jeez.  I'm in trouble.

Good thing I'm headed into the City today for meetings.  Otherwise, I'd sit here all day staring....

But I'm excited. 

Fingers crossed.

Just Keep Coming Back

P.S.  If any of my readers at Being Anonymous are business owners and would like a free membership, message me and I'll send you a coupon code.

Pulling myself out

Sometimes, I don't know what's the matter with me. 

I think it may just be a culmination of the last few weeks.  Maybe I'm lonely.  Maybe it's because my kids were gone on vacation.

Or maybe it's me.  Hey, maybe it's my period.  Who the hell knows?

I'm not a weepy girl.  Well, not most of the time.

But these last couple of days have been bad.  I've been falling apart to music, books, TV shows.... you name it.

And I really can't figure out why. 

I've realized though that the why doesn't matter.

What matters is the emotion. 

I have to say, I'm not a big fan of it. 

But I'm having trouble pulling myself back.  I've suffered with depression from time to time over the years and I know, once I get here, it's hard to come back. 

Enough is enough though.  And I know it's really up to me.  I'm the only one who can stop this.

So, I'm setting a limit. 

I'm going to shake it off. 

And I mean today. 

Whatever it takes.  Because I'm no good to anyone like this.

Least of all me.

Just Keep Coming Back

Asking permission

I went to this business conference a few months ago where they had a panel on how women are different than men when it comes to business.

And it boils down to this....

Women ask permission all the time. 

Even when they're the boss.

Women worry so much about upsetting other people and doing the wrong thing that we're constantly waiting for approval before we jump in. 

We ask for it over and over and over.

And if we don't get it?

We don't move forward.

Men don't do that. 

They just do what they want to do and figure that they'll just clean up the mess (or not) later on. 

This is coming up for me this week because I"m about to do the hard launch of my business.  I've got a pretty new website, marketing is in place and I"m working with other professionals who are helping me get it off of the ground.

And one of the things that I'm doing is I'm admitting that I need help and am hiring a couple of people....

Unfinished

Look.  I like finishing things.

It's one of the reasons I find being a lawyer so damn frustrating. 

I like starting, working my way through the project and finishing it. 

No matter how hard it is. 

It's easy to do something hard for a finite period of time.  When you can get the end in your sight, it's easier to look toward that horizon and just push through. 

I was thinking about that as I spent the last week powering through the pile of boxes in my house (for the record, I'm down to 2 boxes which have breakables in them that I have to find good spots for...)

Because I have to be done.

It's nearly pathological. 

Being in recovery is sometimes like that too. 

I mean, if you're doing it right, there's no end.  There's no finishing.  There's no horizon.

So, if you're a finisher like me, how do you do it?