Too Nice

Are you too nice?

I think it's a problem that a lot of women struggle with.  I know that although people who don't know me very well would be surprised to know it, I'm often too nice.

Are you always helping others?  Are you too nice?

And I struggle with how to be a little bit meaner.

I'll give you an example...

I'm a lawyer.  I quoted someone a price yesterday to review a contract for them.  She agreed to the price.  But when I looked at it, it only required maybe 5 minutes to look at the agreement a 30 second email to her.  So, I didn't charge her. 

I can't help it.  I'd feel bad charging for work that I didn't do...

Or...



Last night, my neighbor invited herself over.  She showed up with her computer and work, sat down at my kitchen table at 8pm and didn't leave until after midnight. 

Now, I like my neighbor.  And we mostly just sat at our respective computers and worked.  And it IS nice to have another adult to talk to.  But I was struck by the fact that I didn't quite know how to tell her to go home.  Or that I didn't quite know how I ended up with her in my house in the first place. 

But when I fixed dinner for myself, I felt obligated to offer to make enough for two.... I mean, how could you not?

Maybe it's the mom in me.  Maybe it's the southern upbringing.  Maybe it's just being a woman...

I just don't know.  But I know that I didn't feel comfortable asking her to leave...

How do you handle the situation without hurting the other person's feelings?  Any suggestions?

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