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| Gotta love amateur night.... |
It takes years of practice to successfully drink like an alcoholic.
I wish that there were statistics for it, but I'd be willing to bet that alcoholics get into less car accidents, less bar fights, less domestic disturbances and fuck up less public restrooms than "normal" people with the same amount of booze in them.
Wanna know why?
Because we're like this all the time. We've practiced driving under the influence (I'm not advocating it. In fact, I think it's a piss poor idea... But I've done it more times than I like to count...). We know how to pretend to be "normal" when we're drunk.
And we aren't as drunk as you are....
It's called TOLERANCE people!
We've built up a tolerance to alcohol. That's, incidentally, why it takes us so much longer to get drunk than you....
At 17 years old, when I got sober, I was 6'1" tall and 128 lbs (for the sake of understanding how small I was, the normal range for my height is 170-180 lbs). I could drink almost anyone under the table.
It's actually one of the ways that I managed so much underaged drinking. I used to find a guy at the bar who looked like he thought that he was a "drinker" and bet him the bar tab that I could drink him under the table.
Hindsight being what it is, I imagine that they thought they'd get me drunk enough to sleep with them.... HA!
Did I win? Well, let me just say this... I never paid a bar tab... You figure it out.
Sorry, shiny object...
Anyway, my point was that it's dangerous for "normal" people to drink like we do (or did). They shouldn't try.
But, every year.... Amateur night comes again... And it's here...[rolling eyes]
Please stay the hell off of the roads, ok?
If you've gotten drunk "unexpectedly", AAA is offering free rides home in the US (for you and your car). Just call 800-400-4AAA. In Canada, CAA is doing the same. Their number is 800-222-4357.
For those of you who are newly sober (or even not so newly sober), please check out my tips on partying sober...
Everyone stay safe. I need all of the readers I can get...
Happy New Year Everyone!
Just Keep Coming Back
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Alrighty, anonymous! One of your best yet. The Amateur Night tag, legend has it, was coined by Toots Shor, saloonkeeper to the stars. He famously, did not drink on New Years Eve, the only night of the year he was sober. "New Years Eve," he said, "is amateur night."
ReplyDeleteAll the best in 2012!
Ken Williams (aka The Interventionist)