Look, before I start today's post, I want to say something. Actually, a couple of things....
Second, I don't represent AA. I don't represent any faction or group or whatever. I don't represent any particular point of view except my own.
If you end up with a resentment because of this post, I strongly urge you to take it up with your priest, rabbi, guru, sponsor, voo doo priest or whomever else you need to in order to get past it. Resentments aren't good for you... They give you wrinkles...Try to get rid of as many as you can...
Finally, to be quite frank, I'm a bit terrified to make this post. But if you think you can't handle what I'm going to say, then I respectfully suggest that you go away and come back tomorrow... Or better yet, go read another one of my posts that you may have missed and come back tomorrow. Really.
So, enough stalling....
The question is "Do you have to believe in God to get clean and sober?"
Short answer.... No. No you don't.
You might ask, "How do you know that?"
Here's why I know that you don't have to believe in God to get or remain clean and sober....
Because I don't.
And I've been clean and sober for more than 21 years...
Let me back up a little bit and explain....
I think a lot of people are beaten up by life by the time that they enter the rooms of a 12 step program. Many of them have lost faith. I certainly had.
Many people are able to regain that faith in sobriety. I was not one of them.
Looking back, I'm not certain that I've ever really had "faith" in God. God always seemed a lot like the tooth fairy to me. Someone you prayed to in order to make your life better; to ask for things that you wanted; to look to for help with problems you couldn't solve on your own. Seems kind of selfish to me...
Hey, it may be because I never had an adult relationship with the "God" that y'all talk about... Beats me. If God and religion work for you, then great. I'm honestly happy for you. I wish sometimes that they worked for me. But they don't.
I define myself as an agnostic. I don't believe in organized religion at all. And I absolutely question the existence of God.
But I do believe in some things. Some things are just miraculous to me...
It's odd.
Let me see if I can explain in a way that makes sense....
I believe in the innate goodness of individual people. I believe that the earth turns and the sun rises and sets. Tides roll in. An egg and a sperm combine and all those little cells know where to go and what to become and end up being a whole little person, or dog or cat or dinosaur.
And that's so fucking cool!
Do I believe that it's "God"?
No.
But that doesn't make me a person without any faith. I do have faith.
I have faith in those things. I have faith that Spring comes after Winter. I have faith that my kids love me. I have faith that there are people in this world that I can count on, no matter what. I have faith that the sun will continue to rise....
I have faith in love... I have faith in honor...
And I have faith that if I stay clean and sober and try to live by the moral code that I have established for myself that my life will work itself out... At least it'll be a damn sight better than it would be if I were drinking and using....
The only requirement for membership in a 12 step program is the desire to stop using. Period. Nothing about God.
And the only thing I have to know about God to stay clean and sober is that I'm not it.
And I can get behind that. Whether God exists or not, I can definitively say that I'm not God.
And that's more than enough.
Just Keep Coming Back.
If you like what you've read, find a way to follow Being Anonymous... Click on the buttons in the top right corner to follow us on Twitter, "like" our FB Fan page, join our RSS feed... Y'know, whatever works for you.
Thank you. You have carried the message that recovery works for you....as proven by your sobriety. Done! The spiritual experience is a change of personality, not a change of religion. I personally did not even BEGIN to recover until I rediscovered a Higher Power that was personal to me. That's my message...as proven by my sobriety. The program of recovery doesn't need our endorsement. I believe all it requires is that we tell how it was, what happened, and how it is now. Thank you for doing that. -- twelvedrawings
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. I don't know how to talk about God - and it's a tough concept for me to grasp. Most conversations of this nature lapse into religion which means I'm out... so I end the chatter by telling people that I don't believe in God. Yet, as twelvedrawings said, I didn't begin to recover until I made a personal connection and commitment to something much better and more powerful than me. How I choose to "define" that changes.I know that it is wise and loving and much more brilliant than I am. If it were small enough for me to explain it wouldn't be big enough for me to trust. Thanks for another good post. -- soulutionista
ReplyDeleteThank you. I couldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Deena, first and foremost you have to believe in yourself. Then you can believe in anything else to help you become sober.
ReplyDeleteI'm slightly religious and find it worrying when people think they have to be able to believe in God before they can give up drinking. It's one of the reasons I avoided AA and managed to stop drinking through sheer hard work and effort.
"...only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." The end. First truth!
ReplyDeleteOMG! Not even an 'honest' desire? Nope! I sure like your expression of God which is: whether there IS or is NOT a God, I ain't It. Another truism!
Third truth is that no one, NOBODY ever born can know Who or What God is, or ANYTHING about that higher Power. All we have are opinions of peeps like us, who ALSO don't "know"!
And so, from that truth I claim that one reason the word God stops many of us, is that we--in order to believe--want to first of all, KNOW ALL ABOUT HIM. So my own method is to leave all things Theological to God (--grin!), and just be aware of what I can define. Things like Peace, Serenity, Love, Helping others, Keep my sidewalk clean, Don't drink (the easiest one!), Go to Meetings, are what I can do.
And I must remember, for some of us, those words "AS WE UNDERSTOOD HIM" are key to my staying free to do all sort of things--spiritual in nature--to live happily, and sober, since March 18, 1974 in Naples Florida.
Congratulations on your 21 years sobriety. It is a wonderful gift we have...and I could not do it--I tried--ever on my own. SOME Higher Power got me here. Page 55, in BB explains that "the Great Reality can be found 'deep down inside'"...a few words later it states, "...for that is the only place He can be found." ONLY!
I LOVE those lines, because I don't have to even THINK about the "God" topic beyond those words.
No, Deena, we do not--and NEVER will--disagree! Because you and I (and many others) have reached a phase of life where we are considerate and tolerant of others' point of view. It sounds trite...but LIVE AND LET LIVE happens to be a great 'working' model--for me.
Blessings to you, Ma'am.
PEACE!
Steve
--I'll be 'Bach'!
I dont do the god thing in the twelve steps and I am not going to do them because of the god refferences. If they took the god out of it I belive I would do them. Iam sober and want to remain that way. I just dont belive I need god to do that.
ReplyDeleteJohn
England
8 months in
John,
DeleteFeel free to take the references out and put something else in. Whatever it is. You don't have to believe in God. But to stay sober, you do need to believe that there is something in this world more powerful than you. Whether it's your front door or chocolate or the sun, slip that in there and you're golden.
I could keep going... Actually, now that I think of it, I'm just going to write a post on this... Thanks! I love inspiration.
-Deena
I believe and God and I pray for all that have not found him yet, or that are rejecting him. I will refuse to argue with people about this subject as individuals we are entitled to our own beliefs and I respect that everyone is different. I am grateful to be apart of this debate. I hope that if you are a believer that you join me & pray for those who don't have him.
ReplyDeleteproud for all that has stayed sober. you can do what ever your heart desires.
I have one question for the anonymous group.. Do you accept people who believe in the lord?
-and replace with IN
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThere's no anonymous "group". Just me. And I'm not anonymous at all...And I don't think that there's really an argument. I just answered a question. "Do you have to belive in God to get clean and sober?" I stand by my answer. No. You don't. You can believe any darn thing you want...For more on that, you can see my other post here: http://www.beinganonymous.com/2012/07/so-what-is-higher-power-anyway.html
Do I accept people whose beliefs are different than my own? Sure. I accept everyone. Pretty sure I've got a post on that too...
Deena