Worry Much?

I don't know how the rest of the world works, but addicts have a tendency to be HUGE drama queens. 

No, really.  HUGE!

Gigantic!

My molehill....

We can make a molehill into an entire mountain range.  We turn every little problem into something life threatening.

A bad day for us is earth shattering.

I do believe that the pain in our hearts and minds is more intense than "normal" people, but that's not why we've got so much drama in our lives.

I think its a little bit that we thrive on the adreneline that courses through our veins when we're in trouble.  It's a high.  I can think of no other reason why there's so many drama queens among the addicts I know.

I'm no exception. 

I take what could be a small problem and blow it all out of proportion in my head.  I get myself worried and start thinking myself down a horrible road.  Wanna see how it works?



I have something important to tell my mom.  She's busy doing something when I call, but I leave a message with my dad for my mom to call me back...

An hour passes...

Then two....

Then three...

And I start to worry....

So, I call my mom's cellphone.  No answer...

I call again in half an hour.  No answer...

(You might be saying to yourself, "Self, I wonder why she didn't just leave a message on the voicemail."  There's a very good reason...My mom doesn't know how to retrieve messages from voicemail. [shaking head])

I wait another half an hour and text her.  Nada.

So, now I'm really worrying.  What if something happened?  What if they got into a car accident? 

I start checking the news for reports that something happened where they live...

But nothing.

The next morning, my mom calls at her usual time.  I am completely panicked by the time she calls....And I scold her for not calling me.  She seems surprised when I tell her that I called nearly 24 hours ago and left a message with Dad.  She's also surprised that I called and texted her cell. 

And here's why. 

My dad doesn't give phone messages.  Pretty much.... well, never.  You'd think I'd learn to stop leaving messages with him...

As far as the cell.... My mom almost never has her phone on her and on at the same time.  Though, admittedly, it's gotten better than it used to be.

It used to drive me crazy, but I've accepted them for who they are.  I just don't leave messages with my dad anymore for things that are important to me.

Worry is a funny thing.  My grandma used to tell me how she dealt with worrying.  If she had something to worry about, she'd give it 3 days.  After that, she was done.

I strive to get there someday.  For now, I just try to push the thoughts of worry back into the corner of my mind where they came from when I find myself slipping into worried panic.

Do you worry too much?

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