Learning to fly...Or, maybe, learning to fly again....

I've often heard it said in sobriety that emotional maturity stops at the date you started using like an addict.  It's why addicts act so immature sometimes.

Learning to fly...

But here's what I wonder...

What else does it mess with? 

Being involved with the Committee is like being in an abusive relationship. I know all about those too. Emotionally abusive, physically abusive, mentally abusive.... It all does the same thing to you...

It tears you down.  It makes you question who you are.  It makes you turn inward on yourself to protect your soul.

It changes you.

Forever.


But once you leave that relationship by getting sober (or by leaving the other kinds of abusive relationships) you believe that the ongoing damage is about to stop.

And sometimes it does.  And sometimes it doesn't. 

Sometimes we have shut ourselves down so far that it feels like we can never come back.  But we can.  All of us can. 

We just have to want it badly enough and be willing to work on it. 

Even when it's hard.

One of the most beautiful things that you can do in sobriety is to start taking steps back in the other direction.  To unfurl from the tight ball that you have wound yourself into.  To give yourself permission to grow again. 

To mature. 

To improve.

To feel.

It's difficult to see it in yourself when it's happening except that you can look backwards sometimes and see how far you've come. 

And as cool as changing yourself is, it's absolutely amazing to watch when it happens to other people.  It's miraculous to watch people change like that right before your eyes.  To grow wings that they never even knew they were missing.  And to take flight.  Just the way that they're supposed to.

It's beautiful.  It brings tears to my eyes. 

Every. Single. Time.

And then I smile.


Just Keep Coming Back
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