As this is the initial post, I guess I should introduce myself and explain why I'm here and what this blog is all about... So, here goes...
Hi. I'm Deena Fischer. I'm an addict and alcoholic. Have been one... well, as long as I can remember.... I got clean and sober more than 21 years ago.
Let me just start by saying that I'm not preachy. I don't drink or do drugs anymore. I can't. I suck at it. Truth be told, even this many years later, some days I wish I could.
You want to drink or do drugs... Please, by all means, go ahead. Stay off the damn road while you're doing it if you don't mind since I drive places with my kids, but it's not my business what you do other than that...
As I said, I've been clean and sober for what seems like a long time. I got clean acknowledging that anonymity was vital to my recovery. And I've kept my addiction "anonymous" for the past 21 years for a variety of reasons. Maybe I'll write a post on some of the real reasons that anonymity is useful at a later time.
But I've been uncomfortable with my anonymity for a long time. I've never felt that my recovery is something that I should act like I'm ashamed of.
But that's not why I'm doing this.
Unlike many addicts, I don't have any other admitted addicts in my family. I married someone who wasn't an addict. The fact that I'm clean and sober doesn't change the underlying problem. It has occurred to me over the years that even if someone loves me, they just don't get "it". And from the other addicts that I know, I've found that my experience isn't uncommon.
So, I started to think about it. I've wanted to share what I've learned. Not so much about recovery, but about what it's like to be an addict. I want to help the people who love someone like me. To start to understand. To start to accept.
And it's time for me to do that as well....
It's time for me to stop hiding. It's time for me to own who I am.
So, here I am. First name, last name, picture and all.
I'm fully (well, at least I think fully) aware of the potential consequences of doing this. To tell the truth, I'm scared.
But I'm taking a deep breath...
And leaping...
Just Keep Coming Back.
Please help Being Anonymous to grow by commenting below, following us and sharing this post with your friends...THANKS!
well said!
ReplyDeleteOh my Deena! You are amazing :) So proud of your leap!!! You are helping so many people by doing this and your light shines even brighter in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteLove.
ReplyDeleteDeena, you're amazing. Thanks for sharing your story!
ReplyDeleteDeena, is it awesome that you have the courage to come out on this blog. You are a much needed role model. When we admit our connection with addiction, it helps fight the stigma of this disease that holds so many people back. We need more like you. Bravo!!
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog today through "Letting Go" (is she the best writer out there or what?) and have read almost all your posts. Really good: smart, well-written, and right on when it comes to addiction. I've been sober a long time, too (almost 18 years), but the devil's still there, just as you say.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I decided a long time ago to be open about my alcoholism and recovery and it's amazing what can happen when you share the truth of your experience. By simply being open and honest, I've had a lot of people come to me over the years for themselves, or loved ones, or friends - and it feels good to know that some of those people got into and remain in recovery. You're doing the same thing on a much bigger scale, so the impact can be HUGE!
Fabulous blog! I'll be bookmarking it and checking in every day.
Good for you!!
I like ya style.
ReplyDelete